sympathetic waves

i'm sitting in the library, it's so beautifully quiet.

I had no real classes today, only music, then spare & spare, then online (right now).

Everything is going well over here, I feel a little tired, and a little used (not by someone), and I feel a little tired.

Tonight is going to be nice, I tell ya'.

I think I might get started on my law paper tonight, not sure.

Hmph.

Just checking in, saying hey and yo.

Blueblu.

it's not the pale moon that excites me

I was talking to a flower the other day.

It called itself ugly. 

I made it look at each of it's petals. 

Each petal had it's own story, its own meaning. 

I told the flower, "because you don't see how you're beauty has affected the world doesn't mean it hasn't."

The flower cried, and smiled. 

I had to go, but the flower was alive in my heart, and in the chapelle where my dreams linger, like fog.

I was crying. 

I talked to the flower. 

I was ugly, and I didn't want to believe otherwise. 

But then, the flower made me look at every spot on my hide.

It told me, "jaguar, you're beautiful. Look at your big paws, your gentile eyes, soft hide."

I didn't know what to do. 

The flower continued: "Take this, my petal." 

I couldn't, and I ran. 

I entered the holy place, the sanctuary. I talked to my dreams, and breathed in the fog. 

I approached the flower again, in the presence of an irish lady. 

Soon, that lady just became another blob in the background as the flower mesmerized me with sweet smells of baby powder. 

I asked for that petal. I needed that petal. 

I was mad, mad at myself. 

Why hadn't I just taken the petal in the first place? 

What if I never get that petal?

Then the flower whispered in my ear. 

I can't tell you what I was told, but I can tell you it was sweeter that honey, softer than velvet, lighter than air, and as delicate as a newly sown spider web, waving in the breeze. 

I got my petal. 

This petal is like a jem to me.

This jem reflects only images of myself. 

But these reflections enter my soul. 

These reflections makes me see life in a whole way. 

in other words: vmeste pour toujours.

I haven't much to say but the obvious.


Let me think... It has something to with a feeling that has been inside me for a long time now.

Oh, I remember! It has to do with Ty. Ya'know?

Value this. I think it's blue. No, not blue, but Blueblue. Like the true stuff, guys.

Everyone, stop reading. Now start reading.


Yea, I can't remember, but it's there, always.

Obviously it's the truth, and maybe it's kind of embarrassing.

Unseen or not, never forget that, please. Can't you see? It's always been there. And it will stay like that,


Forever.

It worked!

...
a little!

Praying

At my housesitting place.

Mom says I'm not allowed on their computer.


Tonight, will be a night. I hope. Tonight, I'm going to push to start a new page with mom, just restart. Otherwise, we're going in circles. Next year + moving out is all too far, and I can't hold through. Let's hope this I'll work, because I'm really on my knees now. It's tiring. It really is. It's been school, then home, then fighting, then crying, then sleeping. Rinse and repeat, and you've got my story. Why can't everything be perfect? Everyone understands, no one fights? Tonight, I'm giving it all up. She wants my passwords, she can have them. At this point, I just think, "Eric, now's a time where you have to think for yourself. Get involved with the community, set yourself up for bursaries, and scholarships. Plan out your future, think of courses, think of money, think of  your friends, and staying together."

This all out war has made me realize a few things. Like:

How important food, water, and a place to sleep is.
How amazing friends are.
How much power I have, no matteer what, and whatever my mother says, I always have choices, and can do what I want, when I want.

So wish me luck. I'll most likely spend another hour here, walk over home, and just surrender to my parents. Regardless, I'm moving out soon. I'm starting at independent soon. I'll be in the front seat of my own life soon.


Soon. Hm, why is it so long? But really, when it comes to things, soon isn't that long. After all, I've spent 17 years rotting on this world.

Oh, hi Sarah!

Mooooonlight in Vermont

Scratch that.

Well I'm in a good mood, and soon I will be driving Mike home, then driving myself home. Hopefully making a pit stop in the middle, yay liberty!..?

Gah, mom was just behind me, snuck up on me.

Does the woman not realize I need space!? Now I think she's behind me every second. This is the third time she's asked me to come out of my room and join her for quality time. AKA watching T.V. Blah, parents these days.

I was thinking earlier today, there is no way I'm living here during university. I'll do what ever it takes to get out of this house. Anything, and everything, will be done to get me out of this juvenile life, where I'm being treated like I'm 2 again.

Now I'm frazzled, so much for that good mood.

Oh it's back. How couldn't I be so relaxed with Ella and Louis singing about love, haha.

School tomorrrrrow! Woohoo, excited, how about y'uthers? Excited? Happy? I can't wait, get away from home, something to do! I'm just not looking forward to changing my courses, but once that's done, finally, school! I've been waiting, and missing it so much! yay!

that's all. time to shower and get ready to chat it up with grams when I help Mike!

yay!

No pretty picture, too lazy.

EDIT:

yea, I'll bring a picture.

Amanyx. Ya tyb blublue. I could say it in a million languages, and it'd all mean the same to me.

Nedroid!!!! <3