un bel diii

beautiful day

i'm coming down with something

oh sweet lady luck, smile on me won't you? you change the tides so quickly i can barely catch up!

madame butterfly, don't kill yourself. it's not worth it.

i just can't seem to understand enough. everything is just a blip of what could be. every interaction is just a gate way, every message is the introduction to a story. all these things waiting to be uncovered. yet time, so finite, requires us to choose what we learn, what investigate, but how? how do we choose to follow up one thing and neglect the others?

performance tomorrow ANd the day after. 7 different pieces. am i ready? sweetie i've been ready since day one.

yes, i will be fairly dressed up tomorrow. yes i did just clean my dress pants in my bathtub.

madame butterfly, i love you

i miss you, chia. but i know that time stops for no one. i know that my life can't wait. something about everything that kills me and empowers me. How? i'll never know. i push on, forward. each day a new opportunity. one day, i'll be walking along and in comes chiarita, and things will be just grand. i'll walk in, twice. i will see familiar faces and we will dance a waltz, yes? until then this night shadows us, like the gold covers the wheat. i will be here, but i won't be here forever. you're in my heart, always.

just, please, wish me luck.

oh grey cloud in the sky, please tell me why

why

tommy

why? because i want to.

i want a tattoo now!

ok so here's the dealio. being an artist is weird. being a fine arts student isn't accurate. being a teacher is nice.

it's hard to be inspired to create when you know that if you aren't prolific that it's "not worth it"

but if i can just effect 10 different people around this world

my job will be done.

now where on earth will i get money?

male escort.


fuck i'm tired.

summerfield

golden

green

i miss summer. i miss the breezes, the sleepless nights,

candles illuminate the world 

stale love struck smell in the air

i miss blue skies and cold drinks 

i miss living where everything is hot

canada, you're not for me

i 

need

to 

live

in

texas.

i'm so nostalgic today. just looked through photos of me first moving in... god my life is weird. just everything

so weird. 

Summer, come sooner. 

romantic!

happy belated valentine's day, y'all! i really stil don't understand the purpose of this holiday.

wicked day! started terribly then just went so up hill. i mean, who doesn't love getting a foot message at 10 am? Then sight reading through some good classical music, like really, ah

ok so all is well. school is good. have to prepare for a group class in 10 days. i JUST printed off a new piece too. i have so much to do, such little time!

ok i love you all, happy v day,

i must go book a practice room

Life's grand

when everything goes according to plan, and people do their jobs and we get results.

Ah!

Also: ow headache and

why is my thermos full of beer?

one of those crazy moments when i run home from my friends place to grab liquor.

i love being 18

time to have a great night of drinking, amd movies, and smoking, and laughing, and crying

day in and

day out.

i'm pretty predictable, no? hehe

ok well i'm here again. spent from 9am to 10pm on campus, all over the place. spreading my wings, y'know.

i had a truly amazing day. from beginning to end, everything was pretty phenomenal. All that said, I'm happy it's Friday tomorrow...

I'm avoiding labels, and it's sometimes hard to identify myself. I really am just so young, and I realize that I'm still looking for that Eric part of me. I know that I'm unique, yet there is still so much I'm learning, I look up to so many people in so many different ways and aspire to be like them. Even the way i dress, and act. sometimes I walk to school militantly, with my head high, vigorously. Other times I keep one hand in my coat pocket and stroll, appreciating the view. Sometimes i dress to impress, very presentable and clean, other times I dress to prove i'm not prim and proper. y'know?

Learning is fun. It's nice to acknowledge my age, see my youth and accept it, then to look at where i can improve, what needs to happen next.

It's official: I'm a performer. A bit conductor, and not much of a composer. I'm a teacher, too. Sometimes you can dabble in a lot of things and that's ok.

I'm direct, I know that. And I like to help, and lead. Just in my questions alone, you can tell I'm young, just the small things at times.

Being committed to music is a big step though, and does say a lot about me.

I'm young. I'm maturing. I'm learning, understand.

That's ok though.

I'm a leo, right? roar says the lion in his kingdom.

keep quiet!

i'm just sitting here.
i need to prepare my lunch for tomorrow.

everything is going according to plan!

finished my book this evening. the ending made me very upset. ugh jim why! you shouldn't have been so foolish! doc is dead! don't run out there!

sigh something about good books that are just so satisfying. next up: "howard's end"

ok well today was great. things just seem to be getting better and better. i'm really holding true to some basic things. i'm eating well, laughing, and drinking. what more could an 18 year old boy want? =]

sometimes the future makes me anxious. sometimes it makes me feel at peace. right now, i'm excited for change but i'm so comfortable in my current life style. like a lazy breeze hugs an apple tree, or how the shore caresses the beach, my life is comfortable.

wounds heal fast. i'm young; it's a part of being 18 -

i'm not looking forward to when my age won't work as an excuse, however, hopefully, i will be wiser then than i am now, and maybe i'll have more answers

but until that morning, i'm comfortable. just the right amount of questions go unanswered, just enough signals get mixed, and just a few wrong feelings emerge. i mean, the perfect life is a boring one, no?

if there is one thing i've learnt: i am a flirt. that and i am always looking for relationships to create, then see what i want to do with them. i need to curb myself a little and stop sexualizing everything(/everybody) but hey, i'm 18 and my pluto sign is scorpio. i'm still learning so much about myself. sometimes all i want is companionship without the commitment, but that's a lot harder to come by then i once thought.

actually come to think of it, i might have that exact thing...

we will see, no?

i've learned i'm not a chaser. i just wait around and pursue people that are interested in me and vice versa. sometimes i can see a new comer as an infection, and try and cut them out. it's not good, but i feel like that with my current circle of friends, that nothing really needs to change. i don't like feeling like i'm closing possible friendships, yet sometimes you need not fix what isn't broken.

again, the learning thing.

montreal, you've been good to me. the next 3 years will be amazing. then, a new city will have my name on it, and a new beginning.

slowly, slower, the flower blossoms. hairs stand up. each pedal slowly opens itself to embrace the sun's kisses, and slowly the flower rises. beautiful, is it not?

be aware: the bloom will fall off the flower. all things wither and succumb to the test of time.

strike when the iron is hot and the nectar is oh so sweet.