Down,

but not out!

I'm back - and out actually (sorry grandma)

sorry about the delay in my postings. i bet all 3 of you were dying to hear my fascinating stories.


today i got glasses. apparently i can't see things close to my face. it was only at the optometrist when the doctor showed me how healthy people view the world. now that i have a taste all i want is more!

however it's going to take less than a month for me to get my glasses. the price you pay for prada, i suppose.

wow i'm one pretentious fuck!


i hope all your christmas celebrations were great! i totally got so many socks this year. i suppose (and hope) i'll be seein' all of y'all at nikole's party tomorrow. on that note, does anyone remember where i was last new years? my mum asked me earlier today but i couldn't remember. i know i wasn't with family or in montreal.

there's a part of me that is afraid to know where i was.


the current temperature in my parent's place is actually 16 degrees. this is ridiculous!


i actually don't have much more to share. all is swell minus a few things. they're good-bad things though.

i miss all of y'all bitches.

school work

hola my little burritos!

what am i doing? "working" at my job. where all i do is sit on this computer and help people sign out books.

have i mentioned i truly and utterly love everything about my job?

school is good. kinda slow. i'm anxious for the year and what it has in store for me! my schedule is annoying in the sense most of my classes are early in the morning then i have nothing to do. like my only class on friday is ear training III at 10:45-12:15 or my harmony II class is 9 - 10:30. why?

i dont have much else to say. loving life, things are well and breaking bad is an amazing television show that i can't get enough of.

soon my love boy will be here at my job with me to rub my feet, give me candy and chat with me.

life is great

love you all

thanks for the cute comment, krysta!

September!

Well where do i stand now you ask?

broke, mal prepared and tired

this summer has been truly great yet also exhausting and i'm ready to take a break

but wait! before that break, school!

...

fuck!

boy stuff is nice hitting it off with a beautiful parisian man

i've smoked so much green in the last few days. buying that bong was a bad idea and why do i have pot brownies now?

i'm tired of wine i only want vodka crans now.


well wish me luck y'all - don't be afraid to visit me in montreal! i really love it when you guys come see me, it's a lot of fun and always a great reminder of my roots and where i came from

love you guys all

a lot

-eric

August!

Ahhhhhh August has arrived. One month until school, one month of work, one month before I'm reunited with all my university buds who have displaced themselves abroad this summer.

I am turning 19 in a very short while. People, come to my place Friday, skip Jenna's party! Mine is PJ themed and there will be cards against humanity! Hehe

Nothing is really new in my life. I'm just enjoying the summer days. I spend my afternoons waking and baking in the sun, then working evenings then romance and parties in the night. I'm a simple man with simple needs

I haven't much to say. Few revelations in my life, like maybe I am simply a serial dater? Potentially

All that to say I'm just a little sailboat gliding across the open vast waters
with the wind on my back
and the sea sprinkling me

blue skies
yellow sunshine
red sail

p.s. you all must watch Silver Linings Playbook. It is a true piece of art

Bye, my lovelies.

WHO RETRACTED THEIR VOTE ON MY BLOG

Party was a success

everyone loved the guacamole

we have so much alcohol now

i love hosting but hate the price tag~

work has been stressful because coworkers are EVIL

i love my apartment

things are so sweet

=)

French kiss

well whats up with me you ask?

oh not much, just moved into my beautiful new apartment that i love with all my heart.

i spend days eating peanut butter and playing zelda then working. #yolo

a new man has entered my life and damn he's too cute to be true - let's see where this goes

my party is this Saturday! everyone come to montreal! get drunk with me!

roommate comes back from her trip to cuba tomorrow, how i have missed her.

now i am without internet and will be for the next 2 weeks or so. life without internet is pretty miserable.

today i plan on buying paper mario and playing video games alllll night. i'm not that interesting.

Adulthood

Well time for a legitimate post now. Blah.

Working for the money. Paying them bills. Meeting with friends. Cooking. Dating. Being lame.

I've been working my booty off recently. In light of being poor, I've been forced to bike everywhere for anything and I can safely say I'm pretty fit. After a solid month of biking at least 30 minutes a day I can say that I'm not a total slob. Biking is nice.

Also as a result of spending my 2 days off staying out 'til 5 am has resulted in a painful sore throat. Fuck.

Going on a third day with Tali on Wednesday before I work. Yay romance! Boo work.

Thursday is looking like a crazy day too. Teaching then yoga then seeing neighbour then going to the park then party.

too tired to finish this

love y'all

together

i mean what am i supposed to do. dont tell me things are going to fast. i didn't kiss you on the second date, did i?

its hard to hear that someone is having an emotional upheaval when you care so much about them

i miss his red hair and his pail skin. i miss his overbite and cute laugh.

what am i saying it's only been 2 days.

2 long days i'll have you know.

i don't want to sleep alone anymore.


these guys would not leave me alone at the club tonight. 3 of them! i just wanted to dance with my girls. luckily they were there to be like oh baby come to me. i love brit.

it's hot in montreal. i cant tell if im just pissy or the heat is unbearable or the fact that jean stapleton died or im kinda drunk high and high, or really that i just miss my mister.

ugh

uggghhhhhhhhh

sometimes life is all like, yes things are good but they aren't and shit is hard and my emotions are all over the place.

tonight was great though, woke up from tali's biked home, right away went to the park with alma and enjoyed some wine, then got home ate, say lucy and jess, finally say alma and the girls with some really... interest gay boiiz. then we hit up the club then chilled together.

life is great why cant i just wake up and smell the roses?

will you need me in the summer

will you need me in the spring?

and this slow moving requiem
each hit another nail in the coffin.

only the twisted moonlight
will restore
the red to my lips

don't peer your head around here.
you don't belong here.

Take your sorrows and confusion and be on your way.

This town has been cold and desolate since the singing birds have left.

you ran out of here. this was your choice.

christmas lights drape across these streets. each window is a painting.

the dragging sound of chains fills the alleys.

how many meters wide, how many feet deep
until you're stuck in the ground,
never to come around here again?

will you need me in the winter
will you need me in the fall?

the caravan moves on. the night air is bitter and unforgiving.

onwards I journey. MY oil lantern is the only heat and life here.

onwards. I stop for no one.

run, run from this empty place you once called home.

the broken windows and greyscale of this old wood will never bring the life and energy that once existed here.

the mice that scurry the floorboards and the squirrels that nest in the attic are all that you will have left.

don't try and convince me that this life can be restored.

the music is dead.

don't come peering your head around here.

you are not welcome.

beep bop

taryn JM and Steph just left. it's great having awesome friends over. god damn I love them.

nailed my interview working at the canal. we'll see what happens. hopefully i'll be able to work there and then work 2 jobs and get the money boii

don't know exactly when i'm starting work as a waiter in the village. all i know is i'm trained and am waiting for my schedule. luckily i'll be able to bike there.

me and steph found a place! in ridgewood! I'm so excited, we have a backyard to ourselves so expect rocking barbecue parties y'all =]

life is going great and i'm so grateful for my opportunity here. it'll be hard to move out and go to ontario again, but we will see how i feel when those decisions need to be made.

also, my new place has an upright piano in it! woohoo! 

now i'm just relaxing on my couch enjoying the summer breeze and this soft buzz. 

you all rock.

lovesong

it's hard to be unclear when you're emotions are rather clear. 

i know giving up your heart isn't an easy task. 

it's the way the blue shines in the morning light and the gold falls so perfectly in place

or the "whatever"s follow by the most dramatic facial features/eye rolls and a playful wink at the end. 

w

blogathon ends now right?

went to see st. fx today, that was nice.

my neighbours are great.

soon i will be reunited in montreal uhhhhh oh god i can't even wait

fuck

good night my blooming hydrangea. may the star's blue light softly caress your pedals as the wind in the trees sing you the sweetest berceuse.

hockey

jesus that was an intense game. i think i'm tired just from being so into it.

why i yell i'll never know

going home wednesday! yay!

i am dead fucking tired

old question

and then i read the sweetest message that paints the night sky in my mind.

it's not the romantic, exaggerated, bleeding heart that pulls me close. it's the way he careless crafts every cunning sentence, or the way he knows just what to say at just the right time.

the issue is that each story told captures my foolish heart, throwing my brain into a tizzy.

softly with his flaxen hair he seduces me with his allure.

romantic with embellishment yet minimalist with meaning.

what he'll do with this beating heart i'll never know; i just hope that he's gentil.

he's the shining star.
tonight is the darkest of all nights.
i am the owl.

blogathon continues!

well another night in rockland. had a great day, soaking up the sun!

spent all day lounging around, eating, doing yard work, cooking. i like being here, just to do these day to day things. all this talk of doing domestic work and people going out to farms makes me just want to spend a few weeks at a farm, y'know. the fact is i dont get this outside space, breeze, sun and solitude in montreal which kinda sucks.

i hope you guys are really enjoying your summer and all. let it be known there if a futon chez moi that any of you fools can crash on!

I don't know what else to say, i'm really preoccupied. (look at me mr. popular over here)

i love you all unconditionally

wait i need a plot twist.

plot twist: there is no plot twist

and now i want more

back in ottawa! yay!

now i'm just enjoying this dim light kitchen, peanut butter and some ravel. i'll leave this short considering i wrote a lengthy blip yesterday.

it's going to be nice to spend the next few days here, drinking tea, doing yoga, eating. maybe i'll meet up with some of you sweet turkeys soon! =)

god ravel is a musical genius.

enjoy your evenings y'all!

blogathon you say?

oh yea that's today.

well happy may first!

danielle had a rocking awesome party to celebrate her departure to BC, along with Sarah's departure to the US. i don't know what i'll do without those girls. we'll be in touch and all. i guess sometimes it's nice to have your greatest friends leave for a few months, kinda forces you out of your shell to get close with other people.

in other news linsey gave me a bunch of his clothes and some awesome kicks and i also got a bike, helmet and lock for 20 bucks!

plot twist: i'm actually leaving tomorrow morning for ottawa! yay! i'll probs spend about a week there then return to montreal to get my feet planted practicing, walking up the mountain and *shrugs* working.

so i went to sarah's in the NDG and then took an unknown, scary but truly amazing bike ride home (before we delve into that i need to say that i met the queen latifa of montreal, and she was pretty funny but overwhelming all at once and lauren (texan/californian) was like what is the person doing -confusion--- and it was pretty funny). the bike paths in montreal are just crazy, however it was a humbling experience. i really appreciated how the bike path home went from suburbs, to the park, then from the park straight into the downtown. that was nice

ah i'm relaxed. i want to take a bath but i know i really need to wake up early tomorrow... maybe i can sleep on the train home :o).

tonight has been humbling. it's shut me up. i just can't believe sarah and danny are leaving. it just really sucks to be so far from some of the greatest people you'll ever have in your life. i miss them already, yet i know that the answer is to let them be free. instead of being a stick in the spokes, i will be the wind pushing them on, supporting them always.

doing what's right sometimes isn't easy.

i just want september to come now.

*le sigh*

just came back from one of the greatest parties of my life

so amazing. i love life, and truly truly love my friends.

i also need to head to the states asap.

i hope y'all had equally amazing friday nights. i have a dispoasble camera full of pictures and i'll upload the pictures soon

I'M DONE FRON SCHOOL AND IM FREE AND I PERFOEMED SO WEELLL

GOD IM DRUNK

SO MANY PEOPLE ARE AMAZING

CLOSTHE ARE HEARD TO GET OFF WHERE I MSY MISTER

will you ever win?

taken by the wind

well last exam tomorrow. im not totally prepared but i dont have choice now

i got a mattress! queen sized! no more futon! and the mattress was free (and NOT from the street)! i cant tell ya how happy i am. i am going to sleep like a baby!

also tomorrow night im performing with justin at concordia, so excited. i'll tell ya something, nothing beats working with the composer.

now im on my new bed. my place is a mess. my fridge only has fruit and wine in it. i'm only listening to fleetwood mac.

life

is

great.

going back to OTT soon, i'll keep ya all posted

you guys rock

=]

classy sisters

classical piano you are a crazy beast to tame.

so close to finishing school.

some people are just fucking crazy. some people are just so lost. some people just don't know what to do. some people just try and be what they can't be.

me? im just a sail boat, riding the ocean of existence on this little blue and green dot in space. the wind blows my sail in any direction, and sometimes i find myself over looking montreal from the mountain, or other times enjoying popcorn laughs and beer at a friends place. other times i find myself listening to debussy and writing blog posts.

i should be studying -- er practicing? if there is one thing i love about my program: 4/5 courses I study by being by a piano, just creating. craftsman of organized pitches, i am.

i hope to be productive. i have a few more compositions to pump out along with just a few more performances then i'm free for the summer!

wish me luck, my seagulls.

wat

i had 5 (not all full) bottles of wine in my fridge yesterday

now i only have 2

uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh..?

and i can name a thousand cities in this universe -

well what the fuck it's end of year all ready.

I can't believe it. really.

maybe i'm just a little drunk. god i just love white wine.

sexy parisian man, yes add me on facebook

summer

is

so

close.

cant wait to climb the mountain

and learn so much rag time music

just got 12 hours of sleep

FEEL FUCKING AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG

yes

i am listening to schumann

yes i made eyes and smiles and winked with a beautiful french haired woman on the metro

yes i did drink beer and have the greatest heart to heart

yes i'm crazy about the wrong person

yes i have a sore throat because i smoked so much yesterday

yes i'm sleepy but not tired

eggs for breakfast! Looks who's putting on the ritz, OR finding an excuse to show up late for class!

(you all must listen to mozart's clarinet concerto in A)

Today is the day. Fingers crossed.

edit: THAT DOES IT! The only thing I'm learning this summer are: rag pieces and chopin waltzes.

B

Well well well, end to another easter. I don't even know why my family celebrates easter; I'm pretty sure we use it as an excuse to have a huge dinner. All that to say I'm not complaining, it's like the thanksgiving of the spring, which is truly amazing.

Nothing really beats sitting at a 20 person table with your family as we all indulge in fine wines and really amazing food. I wish I took a picture of the table to give an idea of it all.

Moments where we are laughing, talking, sharing stories. Moments like these make me so happy to be living in such a great world with such great people. So many people go without this. Me and my whole family are truly blessed. After dinner we all sang with me at the piano.

I'm just so fucking lucky. I'm pretty sure I'm one of the luckiest people in the whole world. There is nothing better too, than realizing you lead such a charmed life.

Last night I stayed over at grandma's. We essentially watched the game and played crib until 1. It was rather lovely. Nothing better than laugh attacks with your gramma.

Fuck I'm grateful for everything in my life.

Sometimes I feel like I run in circles about this whole grateful thing. Sometimes I think that this is what's pushing me to succeed, just to give back this amazing life to others. I want other people to feel this same intense feeling of fulfilment as I do.



Returning to Montreal tomorrow and with that comes my hiatus from being frantic and busy. Hopefully though I'll be able to coast through this crunch time. I'm fine with performance; I have my pieces down, which is a nice surprise. My only fear is my behind-ness in composition. But I mean, sometimes I'm a bit of a composer at heart... hehehe

So this post isn't very exuberant. I guess I'm tired, and I just feel totally satisfied with my life. Everything just continues to work out perfectly, and I feel as if life just keeps on giving.

You guys are awesome, truly.

10 things i'm grateful for: food, my family and friends, my piano abilities, my education, my stress-free lifestyle, my positivity, music, islands and rivers, mountains, beds.

g'night my brothas.

why the fuck

did i go to bed at 4 am.

i'm getting it on with all the wrong people.

good morning this is so early ughhhhh

big day yo

i have a reoccurring dream i'm conducting an original piece in front of a huge orchestra, and i'm looking at the score of what I wrote and am loving it. but i'm not a composer! ah!

happy 150th, Say Anything!

splish splash sploosh sposh

drip drip drip

Yesterday was awesome. i slept in too long today. So much to do! Meetings, waffles, concerts, birthday days.

i'm so lucky to be leading such a charmed life. yoga in the mornings, school at day, drinks at night. chocolate throughout all that. great food, amazing friends, constant laughter. i just can't believe the life i lead. 

i'm going to some sort of concert/live performance each day this weekend. yesterday was Spirale to support a friend, and it was actually pretty mind blowing. I don't fully understand dance and really how difficult what they're doing is, but the second act had really phenomenal performers. Today, Pétrouchka! Tomorrow, organ performance in the oratory by a concert organist in one of the world's biggest organs.  What the fuck. I must've done something right to deserve this life. 

It still baffles me I have full control over my future, and with that so many options. the world is my oyster. 

if there is one thing i love about my program, I can just call my profs and see and talk to them, totally casually. it's really bizarre. my piano prof's house is easily one of the cutest places i've ever seen. god she's amazing. booked an extra lesson that went on for 2 1/2 hours. it was supposed to be just an hour, but with much rep comes much coaching! 

you meet these people in life that just bring out the best in you, and for that you're forever grateful. So many people, i owe so much to, already, and it's only been a few months i know them. what have i done to deserve this? i feel into this amazing community of people. montreal is great, truly.

y'all are great.

people ask me

eric why do you work out? or eat brocoli?

and i tell them, it's because i get a sick satisfaction with doing things that are healthy for me. sure, working out sucks and it's time consuming and tiring, and sure brocoli tastes bad, but it's that feeling of "being healthy".

hehehe

also... oh i had something to say last night but i forgot. hopefully it'll come back to me. ok crazy day ahead.

love ya'll

Well this is it

My life is together. However, sometimes I wake up in the morning and think,

I can go to school in New York for free... 

Then I get really excited, but nervous because my future is so uncertain and dependent of what I want. And I want a lot of stuff!

That and I was reading Elizabeth Smart. How could I not feel poetic and cryptic after reading some of her works?

Pfff.


Welp, i'm going to be hella late for class. But i want french toast now that i have maple syrup and too many eggs and too much bread!

8:42. Holy smokes, yo.

Bye my cool cats!

faithless

a heaviness in my heart, as a nostalgia fills the oxygen i breathe

ivy grows over boulders and logs, trapping behind it the hot springs

green tapestry and a heavy coat of vines cover the bare face of the earth

was it not yesterday that your words like venom slowly entered my body? my soul is just a small pond reflecting it's environment. slowly the clouds pass, growing and shrinking, kissing the sky

a constant slide, movement so fluid and graceful swans stop to admire

you think you can just flip your hair and let the breeze capture me like the dust that floats in the room?

sensual hugs and romantic kisses, push me to the wall and light the candles. why can't i conjure these feelings? you're like a lemming, so determined to jump. a train that stops for nothing or anyone

let me jump on your empty freights, let me pull myself up above the grain, and smile. let the wind rush past my face, my hair flowing behind me. let the rays and current race together as i admire the view and avoid the smoke stack

along the gold coast i ride. i know that it's the answer to be there and not here

in this concert prison my life trickles like a slow leak from a bucket. i was made to burst forth and rush along the liquid earth. i was meant to slice through pale clouds, slowly causing the grains to catch fire. passion fills my arms.

each day

passes

not every wanderer is a lost a soul

what am i doing writing a post on saturday night (also known as st. pat's celebration day)?

crying

because i'm not out getting drunk.

yuck.

i had to decline goin' out tonight. i'm just so fucking tired. plus i went to the bar too many times this week. all that to say, i'm happy that tonight i'll be getting 12 - 3000 hours of sleep to make up for my week of going to bed late and waking early.

like today, i woke up at 7:30 (crazy) to teach. and i did drink the night before. why?

well, it was my student's audition today, and apparently she did really well. i have hope in myself as a taecher, and that makes me happy on the inside. chair of music said she was head and shoulders above the other auditionees, so i must'a done something right.

so at studio 7, i'm just something else, and so out going. i love it.

i have so many interviews lined up for summer jobs, i'm so thrilled. it's a weird idea being able to choose where i want to work, opposed to going to where i'll be taken. also i'm not renewing my lease (say whhhhhhhhhaaaaaattttt)

ok i can't function any more, must sleep

night y'al

big day ahead tomorrow

i'm feeling the crunch of end of year chaos (CHAOS

i hope no one reads this blog - water

off a duck's back

quack quack =)

had a huge breakfast for no good reason. at least i'll be full for  little while

this weekend has been a good opportunity for me to regain all the sleep i missed throughout the week, finally

fuck day lights saving!

so going to danielle's soon to see her and sarah, then cook a bunch and dance and jam out, good way to spend my sunday

mind you i do have a presentation to do on monday... fuck

maybe i can get that done now...

soon i will be changed and on campus. i can't say i don't love lazy mornings though

and i know someone out there likes them too

i don't want to meet anyone new, or have a relationship with anyone. commitment is too much, i just want to make out with girls and guys in montreal, like nuit blanche. im afraid to meet the person of my dreams and 'lose' my young years, of getting wasted, sleeping at 5 am then waking up at 9 am to go to an interview.

(all while having really healthy looking skin)

though i realize i'm... unique to say the least. my interests are unique and my life style is really unique. sometimes i feel like a 22 year old trapped in the body of an 18 year old, yet other times i totally feel my age (if not younger)

weird how that works, and how so many things that i'm trying to categorize are just these superfluid factors of my identity. things change, people change, it's just sometimes hard to keep up this constant movement, sometimes you just want a home, or a little stability

truth be told i'm a lucky duck. just my life style alone is a true testament to how lucky i am, and how I have a whole life and world ahead with so much opportunity to be and act the way I want. I hope i never forget this feeling, because there is nothing more terrible to me than the idea of people losing grasp of the fact that they are lucky. entitlement is a dangerous thing.

i hope no one reads this blog.

i hope one day, a sunny day, and a little windy, i can look back at this, and look back at my life and only feel good. i hope that i can smile about everything that's happened and think that i was such a fool.

i know i will. and i know that day is coming, as the days get longer and the air gets warmer, i will

i just can't wait to walk the mountain, and walk to school without a coat, and to work, to extend my connections and branch out

thanks, world

i'm grateful for ya.

and so

you ask me, eric why

but then i'm like

ye

and oh ye

crazy fucking day, from start to finish

loving it though!

peace

un bel diii

beautiful day

i'm coming down with something

oh sweet lady luck, smile on me won't you? you change the tides so quickly i can barely catch up!

madame butterfly, don't kill yourself. it's not worth it.

i just can't seem to understand enough. everything is just a blip of what could be. every interaction is just a gate way, every message is the introduction to a story. all these things waiting to be uncovered. yet time, so finite, requires us to choose what we learn, what investigate, but how? how do we choose to follow up one thing and neglect the others?

performance tomorrow ANd the day after. 7 different pieces. am i ready? sweetie i've been ready since day one.

yes, i will be fairly dressed up tomorrow. yes i did just clean my dress pants in my bathtub.

madame butterfly, i love you

i miss you, chia. but i know that time stops for no one. i know that my life can't wait. something about everything that kills me and empowers me. How? i'll never know. i push on, forward. each day a new opportunity. one day, i'll be walking along and in comes chiarita, and things will be just grand. i'll walk in, twice. i will see familiar faces and we will dance a waltz, yes? until then this night shadows us, like the gold covers the wheat. i will be here, but i won't be here forever. you're in my heart, always.

just, please, wish me luck.

oh grey cloud in the sky, please tell me why

why

tommy

why? because i want to.

i want a tattoo now!

ok so here's the dealio. being an artist is weird. being a fine arts student isn't accurate. being a teacher is nice.

it's hard to be inspired to create when you know that if you aren't prolific that it's "not worth it"

but if i can just effect 10 different people around this world

my job will be done.

now where on earth will i get money?

male escort.


fuck i'm tired.

summerfield

golden

green

i miss summer. i miss the breezes, the sleepless nights,

candles illuminate the world 

stale love struck smell in the air

i miss blue skies and cold drinks 

i miss living where everything is hot

canada, you're not for me

i 

need

to 

live

in

texas.

i'm so nostalgic today. just looked through photos of me first moving in... god my life is weird. just everything

so weird. 

Summer, come sooner. 

romantic!

happy belated valentine's day, y'all! i really stil don't understand the purpose of this holiday.

wicked day! started terribly then just went so up hill. i mean, who doesn't love getting a foot message at 10 am? Then sight reading through some good classical music, like really, ah

ok so all is well. school is good. have to prepare for a group class in 10 days. i JUST printed off a new piece too. i have so much to do, such little time!

ok i love you all, happy v day,

i must go book a practice room

Life's grand

when everything goes according to plan, and people do their jobs and we get results.

Ah!

Also: ow headache and

why is my thermos full of beer?

one of those crazy moments when i run home from my friends place to grab liquor.

i love being 18

time to have a great night of drinking, amd movies, and smoking, and laughing, and crying

day in and

day out.

i'm pretty predictable, no? hehe

ok well i'm here again. spent from 9am to 10pm on campus, all over the place. spreading my wings, y'know.

i had a truly amazing day. from beginning to end, everything was pretty phenomenal. All that said, I'm happy it's Friday tomorrow...

I'm avoiding labels, and it's sometimes hard to identify myself. I really am just so young, and I realize that I'm still looking for that Eric part of me. I know that I'm unique, yet there is still so much I'm learning, I look up to so many people in so many different ways and aspire to be like them. Even the way i dress, and act. sometimes I walk to school militantly, with my head high, vigorously. Other times I keep one hand in my coat pocket and stroll, appreciating the view. Sometimes i dress to impress, very presentable and clean, other times I dress to prove i'm not prim and proper. y'know?

Learning is fun. It's nice to acknowledge my age, see my youth and accept it, then to look at where i can improve, what needs to happen next.

It's official: I'm a performer. A bit conductor, and not much of a composer. I'm a teacher, too. Sometimes you can dabble in a lot of things and that's ok.

I'm direct, I know that. And I like to help, and lead. Just in my questions alone, you can tell I'm young, just the small things at times.

Being committed to music is a big step though, and does say a lot about me.

I'm young. I'm maturing. I'm learning, understand.

That's ok though.

I'm a leo, right? roar says the lion in his kingdom.

keep quiet!

i'm just sitting here.
i need to prepare my lunch for tomorrow.

everything is going according to plan!

finished my book this evening. the ending made me very upset. ugh jim why! you shouldn't have been so foolish! doc is dead! don't run out there!

sigh something about good books that are just so satisfying. next up: "howard's end"

ok well today was great. things just seem to be getting better and better. i'm really holding true to some basic things. i'm eating well, laughing, and drinking. what more could an 18 year old boy want? =]

sometimes the future makes me anxious. sometimes it makes me feel at peace. right now, i'm excited for change but i'm so comfortable in my current life style. like a lazy breeze hugs an apple tree, or how the shore caresses the beach, my life is comfortable.

wounds heal fast. i'm young; it's a part of being 18 -

i'm not looking forward to when my age won't work as an excuse, however, hopefully, i will be wiser then than i am now, and maybe i'll have more answers

but until that morning, i'm comfortable. just the right amount of questions go unanswered, just enough signals get mixed, and just a few wrong feelings emerge. i mean, the perfect life is a boring one, no?

if there is one thing i've learnt: i am a flirt. that and i am always looking for relationships to create, then see what i want to do with them. i need to curb myself a little and stop sexualizing everything(/everybody) but hey, i'm 18 and my pluto sign is scorpio. i'm still learning so much about myself. sometimes all i want is companionship without the commitment, but that's a lot harder to come by then i once thought.

actually come to think of it, i might have that exact thing...

we will see, no?

i've learned i'm not a chaser. i just wait around and pursue people that are interested in me and vice versa. sometimes i can see a new comer as an infection, and try and cut them out. it's not good, but i feel like that with my current circle of friends, that nothing really needs to change. i don't like feeling like i'm closing possible friendships, yet sometimes you need not fix what isn't broken.

again, the learning thing.

montreal, you've been good to me. the next 3 years will be amazing. then, a new city will have my name on it, and a new beginning.

slowly, slower, the flower blossoms. hairs stand up. each pedal slowly opens itself to embrace the sun's kisses, and slowly the flower rises. beautiful, is it not?

be aware: the bloom will fall off the flower. all things wither and succumb to the test of time.

strike when the iron is hot and the nectar is oh so sweet.

laying in bed

reading steinbeck

listening to glass

it's a simple

yet beautiful

life

Day 12ish?

First day I don't want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to death.

I'm proud of myself.

placement

I love how I: 

Only produce one grocery bag of garbage a week

Eat healthy

Am conservative with me money

Have a clean apartment

Have great friends

Am organized 

Am happy.

I want to:

Eat healthier (in corporate more protein and carbs in my diet)

Eat more meat, chicken, fish

Meet more people

Go to the gym AT LEAST 3 times per week

Meet more people

Give more private lessons

I will check back in a bit with the results of what i want

Now, time to hard boil 12 eggs 

Peace yo

DAMN

oops caps


so busy!

so much done!

so much teaching, learning, smiling!

must run (as usual) of to a friend's place for some drinks and

VIDEAGAMES!

blogblogblogblogblog

i just can't bring myself to like beethoven... why? too rough! too bombastic!

think of the delicacies of mozart, chopin, debussy...

life has a funny way of doing funny things. sometimes it gives you all you want, sometimes you've gotta fight. sometimes you have to just sit there and say, i know i want this but what is best is not having it. i'm not mad. it's just i need to let you do your thing.

i'm sure you can appreciate it.

also life comes is contrast and dynamic pairings. like having your heart broken, but then having to break someone else's heart. isn't it so weird like that?


i'm reading now, which is really nice. some stienbeck! hopefully reading will be a habit.

well tomorrow morn i have some early classes and lots and lots of practicing to do.

i hope to talk to y'all soon, yo

yours truly

i feel like

debussy tonight

and some wine

luckily i have both these things!

so y'all must be thinking, well eric's been posting a lot. this is true.

life is knowing when to quit, and knowing when to push on further.

when i hear the opening chord of saint saens carnival of animals i get goosebumps!

i am the lion.

what happened to the golden mood and burning candles? there is nothing worse that eating left over porkchops and spinach. we all know this pork chop was so delicious yesterday, but what happened to it today? what has happened now that the candles are melted, the moon blue and the pork chop chewy? Or what about the sparkle in my eyes, and the sweetness of my voice? why must all things go stale?

this is my oath. this is my creed. there is a way to reintroduce this love. i will reintroduce this passion if it's the last thing i do.

sometimes will power fades. sometimes it escapes us, jumps off like kangaroos. not this time. Ah no. i've had time to capture these kangaroos!

willpower won't fade so long as there are pork chops on this earth. Sorry pigs (and kangaroos?).

in other news i return to my mother land Montreal tomorrow. Soon i will be reunited with my comfy cozy apartment. This will be different. things have been different. things will move on.


with much love

eric

democracy!

someone voted on my poll! yes!

i just adjusted my blog accordingly to be a little easier to read. I hope this helps?

well happy 2013, as posted earlier, y'all! i hope this year will be good to you.

absolutely mental couple o' days, my life is such an emotional rollercoaster. right now at least.

i'm anxious for school and returning to montreal. don't know what to think and expect really. i need to get a job though, well not really.

ok let's talk about this.

my parents said it'd be a smart idea for me to get a job, but two things: one i hate working so much. well assuming my job'll be service work, y'know. two i can't handle job and school. i explained my situation to my parents, and they understood.

the issue is starting the process of job searching and finding the right job. my fear is less that i'm not going to get a job (more english and what not) but more just i don't want to be working. that's time. the money isn't all that important, 'fer now. the second thing is I get crazy uncomfortable when i have to speak french, but that's just the way things start, being uncomfortable, just like a great many things,

such as

(segway)

relationships. i've come to realize my life, esp. relationships are so based of off comfort. whether it being able to be comfortable with someone, or being comfortable in the idea that you are committed and don't have to worry about building a new relationship. more or less like routine, and identifying something as your own.

i now realize, sometimes i'd rather suffer in comfort than change my environment to prevent myself from being uncomfortable.

I also realize I'm pretty lazy with things I'm uninterested in. e.g. working (all ties together).

i get uncomfortable thinking about getting a job. i'm aware of what that requires, but i'm sensitive (code for lazy). i am familiar and continue to hate shift work, especially when it's something i really can't stand. shift work is just so taxing on a mental and physical way, and i admire those who can withstand this and work often and for long times (i'm lookin' at you, Sarah and Phil)

in good news i'm getting really really good at sight reading. yay

yet! my life is full of bad news. well not full. there is just a lot right now.

i want to take this opportunity to thank things, people, and animals who have come into my life. sometimes, you leave arbitrarily and without reason. i want you to know that just because you're leaving, it doesn't mean you're gone. you will always have a place in my heart and mind. you've made a great influence in my life that has shaped my to the person i am today. thank you.

sometimes life just throws you those curve balls.

December/January has easily been my most crazy, most moving time in my life. Everything is changing, so much is gone, and I guess so much is gained. I don't say this enough, but thank you to the people who are leaving/in my life (in different forms). sometimes i might be mad, but i'm just irrational.

what can i say. i'm doing my best with the hand i was dealt (there is me rationalizing!) (also there is me identifying the problem, and me assuming it'll go away because of that).

ok,

thanks, friends.

and thanks 2012.

welcome 2013.

don't suck.

on a quasi related note, shout out to sarah's rockin' awesome get together we had. this woman is so fucking inspirational. the amount of work she deals with is so beyond me. not only is she witting and totally charming, she's also a great cook, an amazing host and as a great taste in movies (and dare i say it, friends)! having some time with you was really what i need, just a caring friend and a loving smile. thanks sarah, you've really helped my out more than you can imagine. you're a true pal.

ok i hope that this post wasn't too boring. read between the lines!

nighty night y'all!

A-- E-- E-- E-- F#--- E- D-- E-- C- B- A- B- C-- D-- B--