democracy!

someone voted on my poll! yes!

i just adjusted my blog accordingly to be a little easier to read. I hope this helps?

well happy 2013, as posted earlier, y'all! i hope this year will be good to you.

absolutely mental couple o' days, my life is such an emotional rollercoaster. right now at least.

i'm anxious for school and returning to montreal. don't know what to think and expect really. i need to get a job though, well not really.

ok let's talk about this.

my parents said it'd be a smart idea for me to get a job, but two things: one i hate working so much. well assuming my job'll be service work, y'know. two i can't handle job and school. i explained my situation to my parents, and they understood.

the issue is starting the process of job searching and finding the right job. my fear is less that i'm not going to get a job (more english and what not) but more just i don't want to be working. that's time. the money isn't all that important, 'fer now. the second thing is I get crazy uncomfortable when i have to speak french, but that's just the way things start, being uncomfortable, just like a great many things,

such as

(segway)

relationships. i've come to realize my life, esp. relationships are so based of off comfort. whether it being able to be comfortable with someone, or being comfortable in the idea that you are committed and don't have to worry about building a new relationship. more or less like routine, and identifying something as your own.

i now realize, sometimes i'd rather suffer in comfort than change my environment to prevent myself from being uncomfortable.

I also realize I'm pretty lazy with things I'm uninterested in. e.g. working (all ties together).

i get uncomfortable thinking about getting a job. i'm aware of what that requires, but i'm sensitive (code for lazy). i am familiar and continue to hate shift work, especially when it's something i really can't stand. shift work is just so taxing on a mental and physical way, and i admire those who can withstand this and work often and for long times (i'm lookin' at you, Sarah and Phil)

in good news i'm getting really really good at sight reading. yay

yet! my life is full of bad news. well not full. there is just a lot right now.

i want to take this opportunity to thank things, people, and animals who have come into my life. sometimes, you leave arbitrarily and without reason. i want you to know that just because you're leaving, it doesn't mean you're gone. you will always have a place in my heart and mind. you've made a great influence in my life that has shaped my to the person i am today. thank you.

sometimes life just throws you those curve balls.

December/January has easily been my most crazy, most moving time in my life. Everything is changing, so much is gone, and I guess so much is gained. I don't say this enough, but thank you to the people who are leaving/in my life (in different forms). sometimes i might be mad, but i'm just irrational.

what can i say. i'm doing my best with the hand i was dealt (there is me rationalizing!) (also there is me identifying the problem, and me assuming it'll go away because of that).

ok,

thanks, friends.

and thanks 2012.

welcome 2013.

don't suck.

on a quasi related note, shout out to sarah's rockin' awesome get together we had. this woman is so fucking inspirational. the amount of work she deals with is so beyond me. not only is she witting and totally charming, she's also a great cook, an amazing host and as a great taste in movies (and dare i say it, friends)! having some time with you was really what i need, just a caring friend and a loving smile. thanks sarah, you've really helped my out more than you can imagine. you're a true pal.

ok i hope that this post wasn't too boring. read between the lines!

nighty night y'all!

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