I don't want to fucking grow up! Why should I!? I've got everything I need, here. Everything. Honestly, I don't need to grow up. If life is all about finding happiness, well I've found it here. ("Here" being at my parent's home, still in high school.)
I have that feeling in my heart, y'know, when you think of the future. Where your heart feels like it's an iron weight, pumping slowly, but with force, and you breathe slowly, calmly even. But your mind is going crazy, like it's out of control with so many thoughts. And all you want to do is run away, scream, kick, complain, and a bunch of other things.
I thought about university this morning after a weird dream that involved me running into a paint store after my brothers. I thought, my brothers, they're living, and it looks like they're having fun. So why don't I just try and take the approach my brothers have? (Did that really just come out of my mouth?) They didn't freak out over this stuff, over university and college, and they seem fine. And if my brothers can do it, I can do it. And if I can do it, all readers of this (yes you, Nikole, Sarah, Phil or Krysta) can do it.
I'm just anxious. It's scary for us all.
Oh there I go again, trying to diagnose this like a therapist, or Madame Clermont.
Guys, I just don't want to grow up. They say you should have curiosity when it comes to the unknown. Why can't I just be curious? Hmph. My unanswered questions will buzz around my mind like flies over a rotting corpse.
Well, I'm off to shower!
hmph.
Still not satisfied, I thought this blog post would help me get somewhere.
GRR, I'M TIRED OF GOING IN CIRCLES.
byezz fur realz mii gurlz! <33 luv ya!!!
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